Addressing Agency Axing Angst
- Isabella Campolattaro
- Feb 12
- 16 min read
Updated: Feb 15
AUTHOR NOTE:
Social Media-free, Day 8: Optimal breathing, BP, and pulse rate.
Mood: Restful, relieved, focused.
FOMO: Mild-moderate.
Compulsion status: Minimal.
I've talked to a few panicked people and read a few alarmed headlines about the millionaire machete our leaders are swinging at various agencies and innocents, among other things. I have lots of opinions and a little first-hand insight, although only God knows where this will lead. I'm immeasurably comforted by that truth. God does know.
The better question is do we know God?
God woke me in the wee hours with words to share I hope will help, however hard they are to hear. Grab a coffee. This is long.
Things are shifting and spiraling at dizzying speed, politics and otherwise. God is, was, and will forever be the fixed point.
That’s a good thing… if you’re good with God!
I'm sharing a little slice of my firsthand experience to illustrate the point partly captured by Jesus in the title meme and foreshadowed by John the Baptist who said,
"His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor and gather his wheat into the barn, but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.” Matthew 3:12 (ESV)
Since the beginning, God has raised leaders, good and bad, to execute judgement and redirect human attention to the only reliable ruler, God Himself. Parable or fact, way back when, God's people clamored for human leadership, wanting so much to be like the Joneses (1 Samuel 8).
Since they didn't want God, He obliged (there's a lesson for all of us).
In this light, we see it’s less about the leader and more about the God of the Universe. Again, that’s good news since many leaders don’t love us, are less powerful than they think, and are terribly flawed, even evil. See my election post for a deep dive.
This Old Testament practice of God punishing wayward people by allowing them to succumb to their enemies is seen as cruel. I think it helps to see it with a New Testament lens (same God).
I'll dramatize this way:
"Beloved humans, I am God, creator of you and everything else. I set up some natural laws so you and creation can operate optimally, live harmoniously, and experience the perfect paradise I wanted you to have in communion with me, yourselves, and each other. I gave you the choice to follow these rules so all would go well with you. Otherwise, you could hurt yourselves and others, including innocent bystanders. It would come between us, too.
Take the law of gravity. If you jump off a high place, you're going get hurt or even die. You may land on someone and break them. I hate it when that happens.
Since you started, you've tended to derail destructively, so I sent my Son as the atoning sacrifice for your sin and an example to follow. I left you our Spirit to empower you to live within my loving guard rails with some willing, humble cooperation on your part. When you miss the mark (sin), I get it! You're human. Don't lie about it. I hate that. Just apologize and make an effort not to do it again. It's easier if you abide in ME.
As a Good Father, I am long-suffering, merciful, and gracious, and have tolerated a lot, repeatedly redirecting you through escalating consequences. Most of you ignore me, make your own rules, or try to buy my love or blind eye. Bad idea. Many of you think you're good. You're not.
Now, dear ones, you persist in resisting or rebuffing my love and Grace, ignoring the intensifying prompts to course correct, I'll let you have at it and/or have it so you can see what happens when you run the show or make idols of mere men. Stop it. Before it's too late. As promised, I'm coming down there to settle it all soon."
We’re living with what we created.
The Bible and history have quite a few stories of societies making moral compromises that mushroomed into evil, compromising unity and making them vulnerable to civil unrest and political predators, including dictators and demagogues. Ahem.
Let's take a look at one scenario and how it illustrates what's underway with the agency chopping block and why.
The Sacred Board of Education
Nothing strikes fear or indignation more than kids (or dogs) being victimized, and recent threats of massive cuts at the Department of Education loom like evil.
I don't know Elon Musk's heart, but I know he's far removed from the realities of everyday people, many raising public school kids on a budget and hair-thin emotional margin. He may not be overly concerned about the trickle-down impact of his millionaire machete, axing fat cats at the top, with dedicated teachers and others who may feel the sharp edge of the unavoidable ripple effect.
God knows. God cares.
God is still in charge. This is no abstract paternalistic fantasy. The sooner we get this real-life God truth, the better this will go.
My Case Study
Back in 2020, newly divorced, I was trying to discern what was next and wanted to rebuild an authentic life that felt true to me. Since I hadn't asked for either child support or alimony (because I still didn't understand how wicked my codependency was), I was scrambling for income. I got certified as a sub and promptly got a long-term gig at our local high school. I have a natural teaching bent and was open and interested in going wherever God led.
In retrospect, this was my beginning boot camp to see some distressing realities about a bigger issue: Systemic narcissism, aka idolatry.
Bookmark that for another time.
Our educational system in right-to-work Florida is known to have some...challenges. COVID gutted Florida's teaching ranks, and the system still has stunning shortages that make national headlines. In 2023, Newsweek reported 7,000 Florida teacher vacancies, compared with 2,217 in 2019. The number of support staff vacancies was 4,631.
Of course, COVID-19 quarantine had everyone upset, and I quickly came to see my sub-assignment as a sweet mission to the traumatized kids...and to myself. I was fifteen when my family life was at its worst, so I could see myself in those teens. I genuinely loved and enjoyed them—except for a couple maybe.
From that standpoint, teaching was a redemptive joy.
With every ounce of teary-eyed earnestness I got, I want to say that I believe most of the teachers and school administrators I met were HEROIC. Teaching is truly a calling, and many of these men and women are pure-hearted, passionate, part-time parents. Many were tireless in their commitment in a woefully overworked, under-resourced, underappreciated, under-compensated, and corrupt system that sucked the joy out of teaching. Throw in troubled teens, technology, and a pandemic, and well, it was a hot mess.
I must also disclose that I come primarily from a large-scale private sector background and twenty years as a work-at-home freelance writer. What do I know? Well, I know right and wrong by God's standards. I know common sense. I can sniff out evil, injustice, dishonesty, and corruption like a bloodhound. It’s no fun.
What the teachers and school administrators had to contend with was outrageous and abusive. Most of the onerous policies and practices came from on high, far removed from the practical realities of day-to-day teaching. Substandard curriculum, costly unwanted textbooks, oppressive, ineffective testing, crippling disciplinary policies, and deep cuts in the most basic support like working copiers a mile away with one minute to spare…All exacerbated by some surly, indolent, entitled civil servants of the type described in the opening chapters of Nathaniel Hawthorne's 1850 Scarlet Letter, which I taught that year. We don’t change much.
All this made teachers' jobs incredibly difficult.
Let's not even talk about the ramifications for the kids and our nation as a whole. And don’t get me started on special ed. Sigh.
How God hates abuse of power and oppression. And when you're talking about victimizing the vulnerable. Look out!
SIGNIFICANT SIDENOTE: If this isn't you and you're a hardworking, honorable human who cares about teachers and kids, please know I appreciate you.
A naive newcomer, I'd politely call a department with sincere questions or try to solve an impossible dilemma and be met with a variant of "Deal with it, B*^#^*"
But as it's a calling, teachers are notoriously codependent and thus have unnaturally high pain thresholds. Most have pensions, mortgages, and kids in college--trapped. Like most abuse victims, teachers become desensitized to the trauma they endure daily. Honestly, though, I got along great with my colleagues, who were fun, caring, and interesting people. But some didn't appreciate my calling out the concerns because who wants to be reminded of all we've tolerated?
"The truth will set you free." Jesus, John 8:32
"...But first it will P*&s you off." Unknown wit.
"...And if you don't believe it, it could kill you." Another unknown wit.
At the time, substitute teachers made $70/day. That's right, $70. $95/day if you took an assignment for over two weeks. Some of the other subs I saw didn't speak English, didn't like youngsters, and were on their phones all day. The starting salary for teachers was $47,500. It is now $54K and up to $61K AFTER THIRTY YEARS (!!!) with $2.5K and $4.6K annual supplements for masters and doctorates, respectively. And buy your supplies, too.
The meager compensation for one of the most important jobs in the world—our kids, our very future!
On the other hand, County administrators start at $79K and can make up to $175,000/year in a much shorter time frame.
"Let me sharpen that machete for you, Elon."
(BTW, Elon is worth $391 million.)
At the end of the year, the county wanted to renew my contract, but required I get another master's degree at my expense because mine is not an academic discipline. I'd also have to promptly start taking certification courses, including 300 hours of ESOL training. In my spare time, while raising kids. For $47,500/year. Apart from these practical problems that prevented me from becoming a teacher, there was the real fear that it would poison my soul. I knew I couldn't possibly teach at a standard I felt good about with all that. I declined.
Traumatized and troubled, I wrote detailed legislative testimony outlining my concerns which I sent to the board of education. It was never acknowledged, but the substitute teacher rate was soon raised to $120-$195/day. I'm not sure I had anything to do with it, but I was glad.
The following year, I had abundant, well-paying writing work and couldn't sub. In 2023, during a dry spell and desperate for money, I wanted to sub and was told that since I hadn't taken an assignment in a year, I'd have to wait six months and reapply. A well-connected advocate friend said I'd been blacklisted. Mind you, this is the year Newsweek reported historic teacher shortages.
I went to the County board of education to testify in person but was turned away as they were in a “private session.” God spared them and me a scathing, useless outburst. Their petty, destructive whistleblower spite toward a single mother and enthusiastic substitute teacher was noted. Not by me, mind you. By God. He’s keeping a list and checking it twice, I can assure you.
After flying off into a volcanic rage alone on my drive home, I prayed, shook it off, and was soon blessed with a well-paying writing project.
Very recently, my son got an invitation to participate in a prepaid SAT prep program because he's only a few points shy of getting an extremely generous state scholarship. He went to register, but there wasn't a link for the first online training session mentioned. When he emailed the administrator using the link she provided, it didn't work. I realized she'd misspelled her name and resent the email, getting an auto-reply. She was out of the office for two days, too late for the first training. Later, she replied to his email with a curt email, answering only one of his two questions.
Is she making six figures?
Where are you, Elon?
Of course, only God knows if any of these people are well-meaning but super-stressed, merely human, or in cancer treatment; God sees all that, too. We should never be vindictive. God says He’ll avenge.
My personal experience is not at all unique. In fact, a California coaching client shared similar challenges doing her school job just yesterday.
The systemic evil is widespread, injuring, countless innocent people.
God does not like it.
If these people, or anyone, are knowingly doing wrong, thinking nobody sees or will hold them accountable…If they selfishly conspire and cooperate with the corruption...If when confronted or exposed, they punish the whistleblower, scoff, deny, and double down because they think their jobs are untouchable and have been for so long!
We’ll, they’re WRONG.
The apostle Peter predicted,
"Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. 4 They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation. But they deliberately forget that long ago by God’s word the heavens came into being and the earth was formed out of water and by water…By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly. 8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." 2 Peter 3:3-8
Some folks need to brace for the wrath of God in the form of Elon, who has pruning shears, power, and a wild glint in his impish eye.
If you're right with God, you have nothing to fear. If you're not, you should be in a panic. I don't mean to scare you. I mean to warn you.
If you've been on the wrong end of injustice and want to celebrate revenge, hold your horses!
No Gloating! Sober Self-Examination
It's admittedly tempting to gloat when justice prevails as promised. Many of David's psalms delight in the prospect of revenge, but Jesus urges us "to love your enemies and pray for those who curse you." Proverbs 24:17-18 also warns against delighting in our foes' suffering.
Why? Only God is a just judge. Only God knows a person's heart. And all of us, all of us, are sinners in need of a Savior. We want to pray for mercy because we all need mercy all day long!
All this evil smacks of narcissism, aka idolatry! It's one of my favorite topics these days. It's easy to point fingers at these extreme examples, bureaucrats and world leaders included. Certainly, absolutely! There is a difference in scale and scope and sneakiness.
But please note. Please. WE ARE ALL CAPABLE OF IT. Under the right conditions we can all commit petty or catastrophic crimes against humanity and then cover up our misdeeds! The bigger the paycheck, platform, power, the bigger the risk of corruption.
There's a predictable, well-documented progression of selfish, self-centered unrepentant sin. If any of us gets too comfortable or complacent and ignores the prompts to change--including complicit, dependent, or outgunned minions--we can all become desensitized to the harm we're doing ourselves and others, and convince ourselves we're King (or Queen) of the World! Beware!
Yes, excessive money, power, and influence- especially the rapid or unearned kind-are risk factors for all of us.
The other quite bracing fact is that idolatry is a two-way street. Idols need idolaters. Have we enabled or even enthusiastically empowered any idols?
Ruhroh.
Maybe we even did it in the name of Christian nationalism, kindness, obedience, or godly submission, when it was really fear of man or pandering--both sins, incidentally.
Motives matter.
Gulp. That's a post for another time.
God sees. God cares.
Jesus said,
26 “But don’t be afraid of those who threaten you. For the time is coming when everything that is covered will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all. 27 What I tell you now in the darkness, shout abroad when daybreak comes. What I whisper in your ear, shout from the housetops for all to hear! 28 “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:26-28 (NLT)
Wow! What a time to be alive! All of Christendom believes, nominally at least, that Jesus will return to judge the living and the dead.
Can this really be happening?
Could imperfect autarchs Elon Musk and President Trump be God's chosen instruments to clean up agencies full of corrupt civil servants who are getting paid handsomely and not fulfilling their sacred trust while others suffer needlessly? Would God allow these same wayward leaders to abuse power to commit heinous injustices with countless innocent victims, seemingly indifferent to the chaotic impact down the food chain? Absolutely. Sin is a systemic poison. Will Elon Musk and President Trump also face judgment if they don't repent of whatever their sins happen to be?
You betcha!
If God's end game is to re/turn us to Him as the only perfect and just leader, YES! These are both consequences of our wayward choices and compelling forces of change, aka repentance. Pain works.
Still, could a loving God turn it and them and us all around and work all this for the good if we’d re/turn to Him? Of course!
The Key to Peace
27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27 (NLT)
10 “Because you have obeyed my command to persevere, I will protect you from the great time of testing that will come upon the whole world to test those who belong to this world. Revelation 3:10 (NLT)
Evildoers aside, whoever they are in your world, how is your standing with God?Because ultimately, that's all that really matters and the only thing that can promise peace and security when chaos ensues, whatever the cause.
So, let me ask you. If you knew, knew, that God was real and was going to hold you accountable, would you be motivated to correct your unrepentant destructive behavior? If you've been defying God for a while, you are desensitized. If it's been a very long while, God may have even turned you over to your wayward ways (See Matthew 13:1-23, Romans 1:18-32).
That's a terrifying thought!
Good News (and Bad News)
"16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. 19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God." John 3:16-21 (NIV)
Peter said,
9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
This is very good news, but I want you to know, it might be quite painful to come to true repentance!
Repentance is not...
"Darn, I got caught and I'm going to have a fat lawyer bill!"
"Oops, she's really mad this time. Let me take her on vacation."
“Drats, it looks like our constitutional democracy is collapsing. Where in the world could I move where there isn’t war, weather, political unrest, earthquakes, and economic woes?”
"I'm in the awful Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, New York and I'm terrified I'm going to be shivved or worse."
Repentance is sincere remorse, turning to Christ and turning away from whatever it is. It’s acknowledging God is God and asking for forgiveness, possibly making direct amends to the person we've harmed.
Not something we can fake or force.
I have personally experienced God's progressive discipline for willful, unchecked sin. At the time, I didn't recognize that's what it was. I mean, I knew I was persisting in behavior that was contrary to God's will, clearly described in His word and confirmed by my uneasy conscience.
It mainly felt like overwhelming, nonstop anxiety I attributed to other things. Despite that "inner witness," I allowed myself to believe the nonsense preached in most churches today. That grace is carte blanche. No. When I realized sin was the underlying issue, the angst was replaced by a definite fear of God until I cleaned it up.
God doesn't change. Sin still separates us from Him and from each other. He provided Christ as an atoning sacrifice for our sin, the Holy Spirit to empower us to resist, and repentance to make things right when we fall. Abusing GRACE deepens our sin (2 Peter 2:10-22, Hebrews 6:4-8, Hebrews 10:26-39, Galatians 5:16-26, 1 John 2:1-11, Romans 1:18-32).
Clearly, there's a lot of suffering that happens to good people. No doubt. We're warned of it repeatedly. Entire countries suffer with unbelievable peace and grace…in Christ.
But if your nonstop afraid and suffering is God trying to get you to re/turn to Him or else, wouldn't you want to know?
Being created in His image, we can understand this. I've shared a clear illustration. It will be clearer still if you read the verses above.
Say someone has knowingly committed a serious crime and goes before the judge, who drops the rightful jail time and pays the high fine, setting them free.
What would it say about that person if they left the courtroom and promptly committed the same crime again?
What if they did it while laughing at the judge?
What if there were more victims of the crime next time?
What if caught and returned to the judge, they denied they repeated the crime?
What if, after seeing the CCTV camera footage and hearing the victim impact statement, they scoffed and persisted in denying their crime?
What if they blamed the judge and victim for repeating the crime?
What would a good, just judge do?
Would it be loving for anyone to let this person continue to live free and inflict harm without consequence?
By the way, as I'll reiterate again, the Catholic Church, the oldest Christian denomination, used to affirm "mortal sin" leads to eternal damnation.
Neither Martin Luther nor John Wesley believed in eternal security, a pretty modern notion popularized by evangelicals.
Even if there's eternal security, meaning you can't lose your salvation, you may still suffer very severe and lasting consequences as I did.
I’ve been studying Frank Buchman lately, the founder of the wildly effective evangelistic Oxford Group that served as the inspiration for AA and the 12 Steps.
Frank Buckman’s core premise was ALL sin separates us from God and others. Not news but a one-column story deep on page 10 these days. Ongoing repentance is essential.
Absolute purity, honesty, love, and selflessness are the benchmark. Shit me up.
As comfy as we are, we may just have to have our butts kicked to come to true repentance.
Millionaire machetes may be the start.
God disciplines those He loves--and that's us. That's actually more good news, because it means if we respond to God's discipline, we'll enjoy the "peaceful harvest of right living."
I can testify it’s true. Knowing we're right with God in this wacky world is priceless.
Friends, it's well past time we consider whether we're living like God exists.
Jesus welcomes prodigals, but the prodigal has to wake up and come home.
K. I’m done. TTFN. 💖
Thank you. Well said. God have mercy on me, a sinner.